Romantic relationships are more important for men than for women

Analysis of more than 50 studies reveals unexpected gender differences

Berlin/Germany, January 06, 2025 – Most of us probably assume that romantic relationships are more important for women than for men. In any case, romantic relationships are a much more popular topic in women’s magazines than in magazines aimed at men. And in films, single women tend to be portrayed as pitiful and seem to be more motivated to fall in love than single men. But is this also the case in reality? Are committed relationships really more important for women?

Study analysis disproves some gender stereotypes

Iris Wahring, research associate at the Institute of Psychology at Humboldt University (HU), Jeffry Simpson from the University of Minnesota and Paul van Lange from the Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam have brought together and analysed findings from more than 50 scientific studies on gender differences in heterosexual relationships. This combination enabled them to gain some surprising and unexpected insights.

‘Men apparently tend to be more focussed on entering into committed relationships. In addition, these relationships have a more positive effect on men’s well-being and health than on women. Even the life expectancy of men depends more on whether they are in a committed relationship than is the case for women,’ says Iris Wahring, lead author of the study. In addition, the authors found that men are less likely than women to initiate a break-up in a committed relationship, that they are more likely to feel lonely after a break-up and less likely to see the positive sides of the break-up.

For their study, which was recently published in the renowned journal Behavioural and Brain Sciences, the researchers analysed the findings from more than 50 psychological and sociological studies – most of them from the last 20 years – and brought them together in a model that takes gender differences in different phases of relationships into account. Until now, such a model was lacking, although the gender-specific connection between relationships and health, for example, is well documented in itself.

‘Stable relationships are psychologically more important for men than for women’

In their theoretical model, the researchers also set out various explanations for their overall findings. In their view, the most important explanation is emotional needs: ‘We know from numerous studies that women typically receive more emotional support from their social environment than men. Therefore, heterosexual men are more dependent on their steady partner to fulfil their emotional needs than heterosexual women. In short, committed relationships are psychologically more important for men than for women,’ explains Iris Wahring.

Friendships play a key role in health and well-being

The research findings are significant for our understanding of health and the key role that relationships and friendships play in this. ‘Social norms influence women to share emotions and support each other more often than men do. Even young children experience these norms, according to which it is much more common and appropriate for girls than for boys to share emotions and vulnerabilities,’ says co-author Paul van Lange. Without a partner, men therefore often lack social contacts, i.e. people they can open up to and who support them emotionally. This can have far-reaching consequences for health and well-being.

The study is based exclusively on findings from heterosexual relationships, mostly in western industrialised countries. ‘Future studies will have to answer the gender-specific differences between men and women in homosexual relationships or in other cultures,’ says van Lange.

Further information
Wahring, I. V., Simpson, J. A., & van Lange, P. A. M. (in press). Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men than to Women. Behavioural and Brain Sciences.

Link to the study: (https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/behavioral-and-brain-sciences/article/romantic-relationships-matter-more-to-men-than-to-women/52E626D3CD7DB14CD946F9A2FBDA739C)

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Pexels, Artem Balashevsky