HU study shows: Separations are more stressful for married people than for unmarried people, men are less prone to separations than women

Berlin, November, 12, 2024. Most people today experience one or more break-ups in the course of their lives. The end of a romantic relationship, whether it was marital or not, can have an impact on general life satisfaction, mental health and perceived loneliness.

Previous research on the effects of break-ups has focussed on divorce, even though non-marital break-ups are now much more common in Germany. Iris Wahring from the Institute of Psychology at Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin, together with researchers from Friedrich Schiller University Jena, the University of British Columbia and the University of Stanford, has therefore investigated the experience of separation using a sample of predominantly unmarried people.



Similar feelings in men and women after a separation, differences between unmarried separated and divorced people

‘In our study, we found no overall differences between men and women with regard to the effects of separation on well-being and loneliness,’ says Iris Wahring. For men and women, life satisfaction and mental health, summarised as well-being, decreased to the same extent on average following a separation. Loneliness, defined as the feeling of a discrepancy between existing social contacts and desired social relationships, increased equally in both groups. ‘To our surprise, however, only married people experienced a significant decline in life satisfaction and mental health following a separation,’ emphasises Wahring. ‘This affected both men and women. Neither age nor other factors such as children, income or partnership were relevant here, but only the marital separation.’


Central question: the role of gender

Similar to previous studies on marital break-ups, the sample of predominantly unmarried people also showed that break-ups tend to be initiated by women and that men long for a new relationship more than women after a break-up. One possible explanation for these differences between men and women is that female partners in heterosexual relationships are usually more emotionally supportive of their partners than vice versa. Men could therefore be less inclined to break up because for them a break-up is associated with a loss of emotional support – according to one interpretation of the study results. For this reason, men may want a new partnership more than women, as they benefit more emotionally from a relationship.

Those who were married are more dissatisfied after a separation

The study analysed other indicators such as age and income in relation to the experience of separation. Surprisingly, it made no difference to the development of well-being and loneliness in the course of a separation how old the participants were, whether they had children, how much income they had, how long they had been together with their partners or whether they lived together. What was significant, however, was whether the separation was between married or unmarried partners. Only marital separations were associated with a significant decline in life satisfaction and mental health, i.e. well-being. In contrast, loneliness increased just as much in the case of unmarried separations.

One possible explanation could be the different significance of the relationship. On average, people who marry have a more long-term orientation with regard to their relationship. Certain values, such as religious values, could also contribute to attaching greater importance to the end of a marriage.

Better understanding the effects of non-marital separations

The study used survey data from 1530 people in Germany, which was collected as part of the Relationship and Family Panel (pairfam). The respondents were aged 16 to 49 and had experienced a separation between 2013 and 2021. 53 per cent of participants were women, 47 per cent men. 12 per cent of respondents were married before the separation. ‘In contrast to the past, non-marital separations in romantic relationships are much more common in Germany today than divorces. Our study contributes to a better understanding of the effects of these non-marital separations in particular,’ summarises Iris Wahring.

Further information

Link zum Fachartikel in Psychology and Aging (Bezahlschranke): (https://doi.org/10.1037/pag0000859)
Link zum Fachartikel auf Open-Access-Plattform: (https://osf.io/k2rce)

ImageSource Colourbox, Humbolt Universität Berlin